Misinterpretation of your typical e-mail conversation

(This blog refers to my last blog “Your typical e-mail conversation”…so it would probably make more sense to read that one first)

So, in my last blog, I left you with an email conversation between Sarah and Dan. As it goes, it might have appeared that Dan likes Sarah (offering to help her with her homework…and asking her out to dinner)…but that Sarah doesn’t really like Dan (rejecting his offer and not encouraging conversation).

What Dan does not realize, however, is that Sarah actually does like him….and that it was the loss of context and physical communication cues (such as tone and body language) through using email, that caused him to misinterpret her messages.

One of the biggest problems with text-based communication, is that it is more difficult to physically express oneself than it is with face to face communication; although people may feel more confident communicating online (because they are not speaking directly to the person), when you are unable to use body language or other physical cues, it is difficult to encode exactly what it is that you mean or why you’re saying it.

When Sarah turned down Dan’s first offer to go out for tacos, for instance, it may have seemed like she was uninterested in going out with him in general. Had Dan spoken with her face to face, however, judging from her facial expressions and tone, he would have been able to tell that she really just didn’t want to go for tacos (she had a bad experience with Taco Bell when she was 8).

I realize this is something we must recognize when we write our own emails and communicate with people online. Because the receiver can’t hear what we’re saying, or see our reactions, we have to be careful and particular about what we write, and how we write it.

If I said, for instance:
“Hey, did you see that silver shirt on that mannequin yesterday? Hahaha! It was AMAZING! Think I should get it?”
Probably sounds like I really liked that shirt, right? But I was actually being sarcastic, and what I really meant was, “Did you see that weird poncho-looking thing in the window?…was that supposed to be a shirt? It’s the most hideous thing I think I’ve ever seen!”

We often forget that people may not understand our messages the way we want them to...and just because something seems obvious and common sense to us, this does not mean that it does for others. Each person has a different thought process and as such, we must learn to view online communications from a slightly different perspective. In this case, I think we kind of have to look at our messages for what they really are…just a screen full of words.